Patriarchal Blessings: A lesson in how to wield 'privilege' as a weapon.

In another blog of mine, in which I talked about the six realms within the Mormon Heaven, I wrote about how the Mormons (and other fundamentalist religions) use a "Reward in Heaven" as a tool in order to control the congregants. Today something happened that inspired me to write about another element of the Mormon religion that has, at its heart, the design elements for even more powerful control over faithful Mormons, and that is, the "patriarchal blessing".

I won't go into great detail about what a patriarchal blessing is, but instead I will refer to the Wikipedia link (here) if you need to read up on it before you continue in this post.

In my other blog post (link here), I wrote about how the Mormon temple ordinances are used to bestow a position of privilege. Today, Mickey and I went over to my former wife's place in Naples to take her and my daughter out for a Mother's Day brunch and wish them well on their move back to the Pacific Northwest. As part of the move, Barbara had put together two boxes of my stuff that had surfaced as she went through her storage locker in preparation for the cross-country move. Within that box was a 'favorite' picture that used to hang prominently in our living room It is a picture of the Cardston temple, where we were married "for time and all eternity" in 1981. As noted in my other blog post (linked above), this gave us enormous 'privilege', but this post is about my patriarchal blessing.

In the Mormon Church, the purple Kool-Aid is served in generous portions starting at the age of three. That class in their Sunday School (which they call the Children's Primary) begins a lifelong process that focuses on molding the children into obedient souls who will follow blindly wherever the leaders want to take them, but we all know what happens when children turn into teenagers. At that point, it requires more heavy artillery in the arsenal of weapons. That is why at about the age of fifteen, Mormon youth are expected to prepare for their Patriarchal Blessing.

In that box that I received from Barbara I found my long-forgotten Patriarchal Blessing. A quick read illustrates how effective the Mormons became with wielding the weapon of privilege. This is the opening paragraph [with my present comments in square brackets]:

"Dear Brother Lester James Leavitt, in the authority of the holy Melchizedek Priesthood I bear and in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and as an ordained stake patriarch I place my hands on the crown of your head to seal upon you a Patriarchal Blessing as the Spirit of the Lord may direct me [this is all code for saying that it is "God" speaking through the mouthpiece of His servant] that it may be a divine testimony as you journey through life that you may gain the wonderful blessings and exaltation that is marked out for you."

To help you out with the full impact here, that paragraph promised "wonderful blessings and exaltation", and those blessings were essentially already mine by virtue of the fact that I had been born into a Mormon family and was sealed at birth to my parents for time and all eternity, all because they had been married in the temple! As if that wasn't already implied over the last dozen years in Sunday School, my patriarch made a point of spelling this out in the next paragraph.

"The Lord loves you and is mindful of you. Be very humble and prayerful in all things that you may learn through you faithfulness what steps to take and you will be guided and protected as you journey through life in completing your mission that you were sent here to do. Through your faithfulness and your obedience and diligence [I had passed an interview and been found worthy of having my patriarchal blessing, which is no small feat for a 15 year old] and your obedience in the spirit world [for which my 'reward' was that I had been born into a Mormon family] you were chosen and called and foreordained to come to this earth in this the dispensation of the fullness of times to wonderful parents who love you, to be guided and directed and to be tried and tested in the things of this life and you will be tried and tested very much so. There will be many things happen in your life and many distressing things also."

Now, you might think that is a bit hokey, but having been under the influence of the purple Kool-Aid since the age of three I was totally and utterly convinced that this man was looking into a Book of Heaven and reading what had been written for me in my future, and what he had just told me was very important:
1) I had been chosen in Heaven, so I already had "privilege" before I was born. I was one of the very lucky ones that had been born into the one and only true church...and the only church with a restored priesthood that allowed mortal men called patriarchs to "read" from the Book of Heaven.
2) I was here to be "tried and tested", and the implied message here clearly was that if I did not perform well during these trials then I would "lose" my privileged position.

My patriarchal blessing goes on to bestow even more privilege on me.

"Your lineage is of the house of Joseph through his noble son, Ephraim, a very choice lineage in the sight of the Lord and with this lineage comes many responsibilities and possibilities are yours and many experiences are in store for you. The posterity of Ephraim through their faithfulness and diligence were chosen and called by the Lord to be His leaders in this the dispensation of the fullness of times and you are one of them. Always remember who you are. You are a choice spirit of our Heavenly Father and many responsibilities are on your shoulders."

Wow! I'm from a choice lineage...from the favored son of Jacob. Joseph, with his technicolor dreamcoat, was my great-great......grandfather! And just by that simple fact I was destined to be a leader of the other less fortunate souls on Earth (who were descended from those other hapless sons who sold Joseph into Egypt). How lucky could one be? But then that pesky reminder not to mess up ("Always remember who you are") because I have "many responsibilities on my shoulders." Can't I finish a single paragraph without being warned about losing my privileges? The Mormon God truly is a vengeful God, but I didn't see that back then because for as long as you remain one of the privileged you don't want to mess that up by asking the hard questions.

At this point my patriarchal blessing starts in on the "Thou shalts..." and the "Thou shalt not's..."

"You have been given the Holy Ghost. Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and they will come to you stronger and more often and you will be warned and forewarned when you are in danger. Listen to these prompting and act accordingly and you will be given strength and the courage and the desire to turn away from that danger and seek company that have high ideals. Turn away from evil minded people. [At this point in my life I see how this trick works. You see, if you can't "feel" the spirit then it is immediately implied that you have made friends with the "bad" crowd. The net effect is, Mormon kids only end up with other Mormon kids for their friends.] There will be many temptations come to you. Keep the Sabbath Day holy. Attend to your duties in the Church regularly and the Lord will magnify you. Guard your virtue as you would guard your life. It is very precious to you and Lucifer and his followers will throw many stumbling blocks in your way and you will need to be on your guard at all times. Keep the Word of Wisdom strictly [which is to say, don't smoke or drink]. Do not touch the evil drugs that are on the market. They are evil and vicious and could do harm to you very quickly and would guide you and lead you away from the teachings of the gospel plan. Do not touch tobacco nor liquor of any kind nor tea or coffee. These are injurious to your body. Study about them and you will know not only from the promptings of the Holy Ghost but from study how evil they are. Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost at all times and you will be directed in the right direction."

At this point in my patriarchal blessing, the patriarch starts off on a list of wonderful privileges that will be mine if I stay faithful to the teachings of the Mormon Church. It is an impressive list, salted with a warning every few sentences just to remind me that these blessings are all contingent on my strict obedience to the 4,300 "commandments" of the Mormon faith.

"You will be blessed in your school work that your mind will be keen and alert and active and through your humble prayers and counselling with your mom and dad and listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost you will know what profession to choose that you can be happy with and do the most good in and the Lord will bless you in your profession and open up your mind. Pay your tithing [a full 10% of your income] honestly and honorably and the Lord will bless you in your business affairs that you will be guided and you will be successful. Money will flow into your hands almost from the blue sky that you never thought of before and you will be guided in your business affairs to know what to do for the best. Do not hesitate. Be free in helping those that need help in every way and the Lord will magnify you.

"You will be called to many positions in the church. Honor the priesthood that you hold. Do not take it into places of ill fame of any kind that you would be ashamed to be seen and you will be blessed in your priesthood. You will receive the higher priesthood and be called to high positions in the church. You will become a teacher of the gospel plan. Your mind will be keen and alert and you will be given words of wisdom in teaching this plan to younger people and the young people will learn to love and respect you and you will love your work and you will be a model to them. They will want to be like you through your teaching. This will bring great joy to your heart to see the young people grow and have a desire to do what is right through your teachings and follow in your footsteps, tremendous responsibility on your shoulders also and you will be blessed in this work. You will be called to positions in the M.I.A. [youth program], positions of presiding in this work. You will be a great help in building up he kingdom of God here on the Earth and you will enjoy your work."

Wow! I was promised so much money that it would seem to be coming out of the blue sky! Did you read that? So the only question is, what did I do wrong that it never materialized? I'm sure that is what I was supposed to be asking myself for these past 35 years so that I would always willingly "self-correct" my course and blame myself, not God, when my promised blessings never materialized.

Or did the patriarch (speaking on behalf of the Lord) just mean that when I needed $5 to buy milk and bread I would find $5 on the sidewalk...kind of like manna from Heaven instead of cash money? That would be a serious cop-out on His part, and now I can add "deceitful" to the list of names that I now have for the vengeful Mormon God.

The next part is where the patriarch really messed up the life of a completely innocent person with his lies.

"In due time of the Lord a lovely young lady will come into your life. One who is cleanand virtuous and pure in her thoughts and actions and worthy of your lvoe and confidence. Be very humble about your love affiars. Seek help and guidance in that and you will be inspired by the Holy Ghost and know which one to choose. There may be many young ladies that will strike you as being lovely young ladies. Rememer there is only one for you and when you have made the choice then set forth ever way you can to make her happy and you will be blessed with the privilege of going to the temple to be married and sealed for time and for all eternity and the Lord will less you that your body organs will function properly and you iwll become an honored father in Israel and you will have joy and happiness and confidence and love in your home. Things that money cannot buy but you will have them through your faith and your diligence and you will be blessed with the authority to bless your children. Do not hesitate to give them blessings. You will need to be very careful. There will be a deesolating sickness that you will witness also and you will be blessed with your family, through your diligence and faithfulness and the priesthood that you hold. Use it and the Lord will bless you in that."

Okay, picture this in your mind. At the age of 11 I knew that I was different from all the other boys. Far from finding myself attracted to "many ladies", I had not even been attracted to a single girl. And what is this about the "desolating sickness?" It was on Dec 13th, 1973 that I received this patriarchal blessing, and within a few years we would hear about the "gay mans cancer". If 2+2=4, then if I was attracted to other guys, and if any sexual activity with another man would expose me to this "gay man's cancer", then my patriarch really must have read from the "Book of Heaven" because he gave me a clear path to avoid this desolating sickness. All I had to do was marry a woman and avoid men. I was later told by other "inspired" church leaders that I would eventually be blessed by the Lord and be able to fall in love with the woman I chose to marry.

It continues with more privileges that will be mine in my "old age"...if I'm faithful.

"In due time of the Lord you and your wife will be called on a mission to preach the gospel to those who are seeking the truth and you will have a wonderful time. You will be blessed and protected by the Lord as you travel either by land, by air or by water and you will be blessed in a different language that you will need to learn. You will be given the gift of tongues that you will be able to learn the language and speak it fluently and you will have great joy in this work and the Lord will magnify you in the eyes of others and there will be many people that will seek your counsel and advice in the mission field. You will be a sort of a father, and a mother to them, you and your wife, and they will look to you for guidance. Many young people will be impressed by your speaking to them and look to you as a guide and a help and you will will be magnified in their eyes and the Lord will bless you that you will be able to live up to what they expect of you and you will guide them aright and will be the means of bringing many people into the church which will be a joy and a comfort to you."

Well, isn't that special? I wish old Patriarch Archibald was still alive today so that I could send him a letter, advising him that me and my "husband" are very actively working as "missionaries" to help young people. I work for The Robert N DeBenedictis Foundation and one prime focus of the foundation is to provide direct assistance to gay and lesbian youth who find themselves alone when their Christian fundamentalist families reject them. Mickey and I will very likely be like "missionaries" when we retire with the support of this foundation, and will be very willing to serve in the role as the "parents" to these young people so that they can live fulfilling authentic lives and heal from the damages caused by their religious upbringing. I truly hope that I will "be the means of bringing many people [out] of the [Mormon] church which will be a joy and comfort to [me]."

Here comes the "happily ever after" part.

"You will be blessed with power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection clothed with glory, immortality and eternal life and be crowned a king in our Heavenly Father's kingdom.

"These are your blessings through your faithfulness and diligence in keeping the commandments of God and I seal them upon you in the name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Amen."

Well, count me out. I really messed up this time. In June 2006 they tried to kick me out, but they didn't do it right so they had to admit me back into the "realm" in January 2007. By then I was a radioactive public relations nightmare waiting to happen, so they left me alone. By June 2008 I decided the time was right to resign my membership, so the Mormon Heaven will just have to get by without me.

Like the Republican Party and Arlen Specter, the Mormon Heaven will be better off without the likes of me.